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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, I see this guy on a bike. He’s zooming down the street, and I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nope, he hits a pothole and goes flying. I’m like, “Is this real life?” I rush over to help him. He’s fine, just a bit embarrassed. I mean, who wouldn’t be?

Romanian agri-food products to be promoted at 'Green Week 2025'